Soul Mates Dissipate...... Then Reconnect (If You're Lucky)

Here I am again, but how did I get here? I reached out to the man who I know in my heart of hearts is my soul mate (see "Missing: Have You Seen Genuine Love". I'm happy to report that he met me on the corner of Memory Lane & Good Times Boulevard a few weekends ago.....

Before I speak of that night I need to rewind. In early 2008 he fell off the face of the earth and left me speechless. The cessation of communication hurt my mind, body and soul for months. It took me a long time to get over him. I moped around the house like my dog died (and I don't even have a canine companion). I racked my brain and constantly wondered why we didn't work out. Was it something I did? Was I too demanding? Too dramatic? Too moody? Was it another women? What was it? To get over him I kept telling myself that it was his loss. I told myself that if we were meant to be, we would be.

After about two months I decided to reach out. I called him to say hello, but to my dismay his phone was disconnected. So much for reaching out. I took that as a sign and decided to move on with my life. However, I soon realized that it was easier said than done. I couldn't just walk away from the man who made me feel like no other man ever has. The man restored my belief in love!

My curiosity caused me to dial his phone number one day to see if his phone was still out of service... To my surprise it wasn't! He answered and I lost my voice. I quivered at the tone of his voice. His "hello" made me weak, JESUS! "Hello" he said again and then the quivering subsided. I felt anger, so I hung up. Why the hell didn't he call me? If he wanted to talk to me, he would have reached out when his phone service was restored. I sat there for a few moments and absorbed the fact that I'd just heard his voice after so many months. That moment came and went and I soon forgot about it.

A few weeks later I was at work zoning out to my tunes when "Here Without You" came on the Internet radio website, Pandora.com. I froze dead in my tracks and sat there in glee. I reminisced about our good times and how I'd feel when he'd serenade me. I took a chance, I e-mailed him. I kept it short and sweet. To my surprise he answered my e-mail later that evening. He gave me the answers to all of the questions that kept me up at night, that had me moping around for so many weeks, that had me down in the dumps. He told me that he knew he couldn't give me the attention or time that I deserved, so his conscious wouldn't let him continue to see me. My mind was at ease. No more wondering if I'd been the cause of our break-up anymore.

We agreed to meet up when he came back in town a few weeks later. He came by on a rainy Friday evening and we caught up. I opened the door and we embraced for a minute. Damn he felt good. His arms were strong and his scent was intoxicating. He looked like a caramel sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top. I wanted to lick him, but I kept my composure and acted like I'd just seen him. We engaged in a gentle kiss and I proceeded to invite him into my apartment.

We caught up; talking and all that jazz. We caught up sexually too and the mountains did not move for me. He was oblivious before and he seemed to be even more oblivious that night. It's sad, especially because I care about him so much. I guess I shouldn't fret huh? After all he can be taught.. He's not too old to learn new things, provided he's up for my constructive criticism... We shall see in due time.

Fast forward to last night, out of the blue he texts me to ask if he can cook for me. Uh oh.... My "spidey" senses have kicked in. I'm wondering what the hell he REALLY wants (aside from the obvious). Should I let him back into my heart? Will this time be different? Or will he leave me out to dry again? The common sense in me tells me to run away, but the hopeless romantic in me is strapped in an emotional roller coaster and I'm ready to take a ride... Damn.

Lightning Struck, So Where's the Electricity?

Last night was my second date with that gentleman from the train (See, Lightning Srikes Again). We agreed to meet at one of my fav Thai restaurants in Soho, Peep. I walked in the door and he was sitting at the bar. Can we say YUCK? It's official I don't like him! I feel bad. I came to the realization that there was no chemistry whatsoever the second we embraced in a hug. His face lit up when he saw me and mine, well let's just say that I had to do my best not to turn around and run out the door in my 3 inch heels.

Don't get me wrong he's a nice guy but, he just doesn't do it for me. As the the hostess led the way to the table I was more excited to order my meal than engage in conversation with him. I quickly put in my order for a glass of chardonnay (I needed to be buzzed to proceed with my Academy award winning performance - I can't let him know that I'm not into him).

After placing our appetizer and drink order, he told me that he had a gift for me. Keep in mind the lighting was dim, so it was easy for my eyes to play tricks on me. He reached into his briefcase and took out a light teal bag with a black bow. Yes ladies, I was thinking he went there! "OMG OMG OMG, this lunatic bought me something from Tiffany's?" LOL, yes I was definitely freaking out. I had to refocus my eyes to realize that I became excited for a Duane Reade gift bag (I think I may need to get another eye exam very soon). I open the white tissue paper and am greeted by the Sex & The City DVD. I was thoroughly excited because SATC is one of my fav shows. How thoughtful - but wait, it wasn't even the right one! I wanted the extended version and he bought me the regular version. I guess I should have been grateful right? Wrong! I was fuming inside! In my mind I'm like "I wonder if it would be rude to ask him to exchange this version for the extended version". I thought some more and said "That's like getting proposed to and asking your significant other to get you a platinum diamond engagement ring as opposed to the white gold diamond he's just put on your finger."

I smiled as if the date was ending and said "Aww, thanks! This was very sweet of you." He looked at me like he was waiting for something in return. His eyes focused on my lips. I took that as my cue to kiss him on the cheek before he tried his luck at kissing me on the lips (that was so not going to happen).

The drinks come (thank God for inebriation) and the date continued. The conversation flowed and we exchanged personal experiences about love, relationships & shared interests. The main course came and I thoroughly enjoyed my meal. As the date continued I sat across from him analyzing, scrutinizing and ripping him apart. I realized that I was thoroughly distracted by his goofiness. He seems a bit unsure of himself. The tone of his voice was annoying the hell out of me. I felt like ordering a glass of testosterone for him to guzzle down. He wasn't man enough for me.

We left the restaurant and made our way to the train station, final destination, Queens. We made it safely to my car and I dropped him off at his place. We engaged in more conversation and time flew by. Before I knew it, it's minutes to 10:30 and I'm getting restless. Here it is.... The awkward moment, the dead silence. Its time for him to get the f*ck out of my car, but he lingered there. He looked at my lips, I looked at his his. I go in, and give him a kiss.... on the cheek! I know he wanted to taste my lips, but my lips didn't want to be tasted by his, so I didn't allow it. The way he ogled me I expected him to start salivating. He made me feel like he was staring at a steak dinner and he hadn't eaten all day. Ewww!

He left my car and I made it home in about 10 minutes. The last thought on my mind for the night was "I wonder if they still have the extended version of SATC at FYE". Needless to say lightning may have struck, but it didn't shock me into love. Can't wait for the next thunderstorm!

Subway Stories (#5) - Lightning Strikes Again

Well, well, well. Lightning has struck again my friends. Who knew that morning rush hour turned into the new happy hour? Well, at least it has for me. There I was sitting there directly across from the door operators booth when the train pulls into the station. The doors open and in walks a couple dressed to the tee. The man was dressed in a navy blue pin-stripped suit and the woman was clad in all black, the couple looked sharp! The woman was fortunate enough to get a seat, but he wasn't. He stood directly in front of her, showing chivalry (which at this day and age is pretty much non-existent). All of a sudden the eyes behind his shades are peering into the eyes behind my shades.....

My interest is peaked. I am intrigued as hell and I want to know how those eyes look without those shades. I begin to scrutinize him. He is tall, milk chocolate brother with a bald head. Hmmm, I see swagger, he exudes confidence and I like that. I behave myself and avoid eye contact, after all he's with someone. The train proceeds towards down the tunnel and I feel his eyes on me. It's hard to avoid eye contact, but I make a valiant effort to fight the temptation. The train slowly begins to empty out and before I know it his stop is here, 34th street. As he exits he is caught in a trance. He stares at me so hard that as he proceeds to walk off the train the doors close in his face. At this point I laugh out loud and break the proverbial ice.

He walks towards me and tells me how embarrassed he is. I'm too busy laughing to think about how he must have felt. When the laughter stops I reassure him that he has nothing to be embarrassed of. He offers to escort me to my stop and I let him. In that short distance I learn his name and profession. I accepted his business card and bid him adieu.

The next day I took a chance, I e-mailed him and gave him my phone number. To my my pleasant surprise we have a lot in common and I find it refreshing. I took a chance and it led me to dining with him at a Cuban restaurant later in the week. I took a chance and it had me partying in the meatpacking district in the middle of the week. I took a chance and it had me laughing and enjoying myself. I took a chance and wound up exploring a part of NYC that I never knew existed. I'm taking another chance and will be seeing this man from the train next week for dinner.

This time lightning struck twice and I'm glad that it shocked some gumption into me!

Suway Stories (#4) - "Psychopath Alert"

After the treat of an extended weekend I made it into work ahead of schedule. I wound up having to transfer to another train during my commute this morning. In the process of transferring I came across a rather odd man.

Here I was minding my own business walking down the platform when this "Looney Tune's" eyes were locked on my every move. I noticed this and was sure to use my peripheral vision. As I stood on the edge of the platform looking down the tunnel for light from the ongoing train I glanced to my left. "Psycho Man" was about 10 feet from me. I felt safe. Great! I see the lights! I take a step back and wait for the train to come to a complete stop. As I get ready to go into the door, wouldn't you know it, this lunatic made sure he came into my car!

He sits directly across from me and ogles me for the next 2 stops. At this time I got a good look at him (you know, just in case I had to describe him in detail to the authorities). He was balding, yet that didn't stop him from having hair touch his back. You see, this man had a Homer Simpson going on up front and in the back, he was working with Rapunzel. WTF? Who told him that looked nice? Probably the voices in his head. He had on a gray button up shirt that he was perspiring through. Faded black trousers and a black shoes. To top this off, he had on glasses that could substitute for coke bottle bottoms. The shade of the lens were an off yellow. Eerie. Creepy. I am afraid. I am VERY afraid.

He looks me up and down and I made it my business to not make direct eye contact with him. As you know, it's in your best interest to never make eye contact with a crazy person, because you invite them. Invite them to talk to you and invite them to leer at you even more. When I did catch him looking at me, I also noticed him licking his lips. In my head I'm like "This motherf*cker thinks I'm Little Red Riding Hood and he's the wolf. I think he wants to eat me, LOL." My stop comes. To my dismay, it's his stop too. I made it a point to not exit before him. I didn't want his perverted ass looking up my dress as I walked up the steps. I make it above ground, all the while I'm making sure I keep my distance from him.

As I make my way into work I laugh to myself and think that I could have been a bit paranoid. Maybe, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. You never know who's lurking on the subways of NYC.