Subway Stories # 6 - "Who Makes the First Move?"

I believe I previously stated the NYC subway system has become the new social scene to meet men right? As further proof of this quirky theory of mine check out how my week began people.

I had a serious case of "endoftheweekenditis" on Monday morning (especially with all the studying I'd done in preparation for my midterm that night), but I digressed and made it through a manic Monday. I was on the E Train reviewing my notes when the train pulled into the 34th Street Station. I was so into my notes that I didn't bother to notice the boarding passengers until - BAM! - directly in front of my face was the crotch of a man whose head was approximately an in inch shy of the ceiling. My interest was peaked........

He was chestnut-brown with a neatly trimmed beard and mustache - nice. Immediately my attention was drawn to his shoes, clean and big - check. Next, my eyes went to where all single women's eyes go, to his left hand. This checkpoint serves two purposes, to check the size of his hands (my "whore" of a sister {lol}taught me that this eludes to the size of the man's endowment) and the other, to check for a wedding ring. The ring was either MIA or he wasn't wed to anyone. Oh yeah, his hands could definitely palm a basketball with ease - wink, wink. Might I add that his nails were neatly manicured (a definite plus. Last checkpoint, his attire - very clean. The fit was proportionate to his tall physique. As Borat would say, "Very nice, very nice."

We made brief eye contact and in that brief moment my body said, "oohhlala". I went back to reviewing my note, but I could feel his eyes on me. After a few moments I found myself stealing glances here and there. While readjusting my legs I "accidentally" hit him (lol, a b**ch like me - shout out to "Taylor" - has tactics to get myself noticed). I apologized and flashed my pearly whites.

We pulled into Roosevelt and the female seated next to me got up, Chestnut-Brown sat down. He jammed to the music on his iPone and I jammed to mine on my iPod. I glanced at his music selection, "Life After Death - cool he likes hip-hop, ok. Next I see "Phrenology" by the Roots. At this point I saw that we had similar music taste.

We were almost at the last stop and I was secretly hoping that he didn't get off without saying anything. I was kicking myself for not having any of my business cards on me. I went back & forth debating whether or not I was going to say something to him. I decided that I was the moment I saw that he didn't get off at the penultimate stop.

As everyone in the car gathered their belongings I put a fresh application of my cinnamon lip shine and popped a piece of spearmint gum in my mouth. The doors opened and I exited before he did. My plan was to say something the minute we both made it up the escalator, but he beat me to the punch. I felt a tap on my back as I neared the next level; it was him handing me his business card. I took his card and waited for him to reach my level. I thanked him and told him that I was about to talk to him, but that he was too fast. I also added that I liked his confidence (it's a rarity for men to approach me since their so afraid of rejection). I extended extended my hand and we exchanged pleasantries, "My name is 'Melinda' and you are?" He replied, " 'Earl'." Since I was a rush to make it to class we didn't chat too long, but we spoke long enough for me to get his cell phone number.

I e-mailed him the following morning (Tuesday) from my work address and we agreed to take the communication to gmail chat. We exchanged jokes, comments and inquiries; all and all I think it went well. On Wednesday we agreed to meet on the 1st car of the E Train. I boarded the train (I stood directly across from the conductor's booth (since there were no seats available) and smiled as we pulled into 34th Street. Kool-Aid grin........ he smiled back at me as he boarded and walked over to me. Damn, he looked delicious and was even taller that I remembered; He towered over me (I found out he's 6'4").

The conversation flowed effortlessly and I didn't want it to end. Unfortunately, it ended a little too soon. I had to exit at Union Turnpike to transfer to the F.

I arrived home and thought to myself "I should ask him if he wants to go out for drinks" and did just that. I sent him a text message to invite him out, but just my luck - he had to get his kids settled (yeah I said KIDS, I'll get into that in a minute)and was unable to head out anytime soon. He said that he'd keep me posted and let me know when he'd be available. In that time frame a friend phoned me and came through, ah well - so much for chilling with Earl. My evening consisted of cooking, cracking jokes and watching television.

I spoke with Earl later that night (around 11)and discovered his deal: He's 36, has two children (a 3 y.o son and a 6 y.o daughter), recently purchased a two-family home with the mother of these children and they still dwell together (but not necessarily as one big family, or so he says), and lastly, they just broke up 3 months ago. So ladies and gentleman, you know me right? Wtf do you think I'm going to be telling him by this weekend? You guessed it, it's a wrap! - I'm not trying to get involved with someone in his predicament. I cannot lie, I am a bit bummed, but resilient.

I've already bounced back to another somebody. Last Friday, on my way to meet "Justin" at Cafeteria I saw a fine piece of sexual dark chocolate as I walked through the turnstyle. Our eyes locked: I looked at a MTA metrocard clerk. He was tall, mocha-brown, dreads tied up and gray eyes (which were real, they were so transparent I could see through them). We kept our intense gaze, but it quickly ended as I went to the left of the booth to exit. I made it a point to steal one more quick glance as I passed the side of the booth and to my surprise he was still checking me out.

Today after my work week ends I'm going back to that station. Here's my "G": "I saw you last week...." F**k it, I'm gonna' wing it! I'll let you know how that goes.....

How Do I Get Over My Fastidiousness?

My cousin calls it "Analysis Paralysis";An unofficial medical condition that plaques a lot of people (including myself). Sufferers of analysis paralysis think way too much and find it incredibly hard to just go with the flow. I dread this condition and would love to end this paralysis, but it's not that simple. I went from settling for anything to not settling for anything; one extreme to the next. What's wrong with me? As I stated in the latter part of my last post, "Offline", I constantly wonder "Am I too picky for my own good?"

There I was on my date with "Justin"; a guy that most would deem a great catch: Tall, attractive, chivalrous, romantic, funny, spontaneous, educated and affectionate. I should have been enjoying myself, but all I did was wish I was with another man (to be specific "Metro" or "Eyes" from my post "How To Get Over An A**hole"; men that are eye candy and make me say "damn" each and every single time I lay my pretty brown eyes on them. Nevermind the fact that I deemed both men a**holes, I still preferred their company.). Am I a glutton for punishment? Will I ever be able to let go of my shallow standards and just embrace a man that may not be the most gorgeous guy in the world, but one that would treat me like a queen?

I am trying to come to grips with my reality; I seem to never be satisfied when it comes to men. This is insane because a few short years ago I was in love with a slovenly, unambitious, charming, jack-a**. I settled because I thought that he'd change, but he didn't, so I did - I changed my status from "in a relationship" to "single"! I stopped settling.

While engaged in the dating game I became way too critical and harsh. If I didn't like something they got the boot; I was so afraid to settle again. I became so out of control that I would dismiss a man if the nail on his left pinky was crooked or one of his eyelash hairs were missing(not literally, but my fastidiousness was that bad).

Recently I've been in very deep thought and have been fearful that I'll wind up an old hag with cats as my companions. I have to stop this before I get anymore out of control! People I need the cure to analysis paralysis! After all, there will always
be something right? I need to face reality: no one is perfect.

In an attempt to turn over a new leaf I agreed to go out with "Justin" again (see "Offline" for a history)last Friday. We agreed to meet on the corner of 18th & 7th; Destination - Cafeteria, (http://www.cafeteriagroup.com) I was stoked since I'd heard so many nice things about this restaurant. We get inside and I ordered a glass of pinot grigio, him - water. Let the date begin!

Justin recommended that I order the meatloaf and garlic mashed potatoes, so I did since that sounded good (he ordered chicken and waffles). Our entrees arrived and I offered him a taste of my food - he gladly helped himself to my plate. After seeing the satisfaction on his face, I knew that the dish was good and I began to dig in. No-no #1, as I am eating my food, this lunatic helps himself to my plate, two more times (once for more meatloaf and again for potatoes)! He might as well have double dipped - wtf? I never swapped spit with him, so ytf would he think that I would be okay with this? Needless to say that I ate less than half my food because I was not about to eat anywhere near where he stuck his fork. Now that I think of it, he must have thought I wouldn't mind sharing with him since I allowed him to have a sip of my wine (I let him have a sip since he kept asking me so damn questions about it: "How's your wine?" "How's it taste?" "Is it good?" After the barrage of questions on the taste of my wine I felt like getting a f**king funnel and pouring the sh*t down his f**king throat!). He wanted to make a full evening and go see "W" in midtown, but I was not in the mood to be with him any further. I quickly concocted a lie and told him that I had to make it home due to another engagement. I suggested that we enjoy a drink together and make the most of our time at the restaurant; he agreed after expressing his disappointment and ordered a Long Island Iced Tea.

I wound up "babysitting" my glass of wine and eventually it became warm (I didn't bother finishing it). Justin finished his cocktail and I lost my patience. I suggested we order another round, but he declined (mmmmhhhhmmmm, his scrawny a** was twisted off of one L.I.T - lightweight!). I excused myself and went to the restroom. While making my way there, I ran into our waiter and asked "Can you tell that I'm not really into the guy I'm with?" He retorted "Girl, it's all over your face!" We exchanged a hearty laugh and I excused myself.

I made my way back to the table and prepared to gather my belongings, when no-no #2 was committed: Since I opted to leave the remainder of my wine in the glass he took it upon himself to finish it. Gross! This man drunk that warm glass of backwash after admitting to me a few minutes prior that he wasn't that into the taste of pinot grigio. I'm still grossed out at the sheer thought of that disgusting act!

Finally, we get to my train station. My F train breezd into the 14th St. train station and I was so thankful. I quickly gave Justin a hug and a kiss on the cheek. No-no #3 is committed: He reached in for a kiss on my lips. In a reflex I put my hand over his mouth and said "no". Words can't describe how bad I felt (since that reflex wasn't intentional), so I quickly gave him another kiss on the other cheek and another hug. He didn't let me go from the embrace and he went in again - no-no # f**king 4! This man must be the glutton for punishment that I thought I was. I avoided his lips and he said "stop ducking me." I apologized and told him that I had to go (the train doors had just opened up). As I said my good-byes I turned around to look at him and he looked insane!!!! He had that "I'll-show-you-sorry-alright look on his face. I made my exit and found comfort in the fact that I was on my way back to Queens - thank God!

Now for the icing on the cake. I had all intentions of calling him on Sunday to tell him that I thought we'd be better off as friends, but he beat me to the punch - OH HELL NO! Here is his exact Facebook message: "Friday was cool, after our first date I REALLY thought we had great rapport....joking around and stuff. the chemistry was definitely there, I even think I had you on my mind a little too much lol. "Melinda" I like your company maybe we should just be friends." To that I responded: "I was going to actually suggest the same thing... I felt chemistry with you, as a friend. You're a great guy, but perhaps we're just not clicking like that, you know? Either way, I thank you for being the epitome of a gentleman and showing me parts of NY that I've never seen!" I had to let him know that I NEVER saw him like that; perhaps it was an ego thing - whatever. The ending of my "Internet Love" is this: we are going to remain friends and I'm okay with that.

Now back to my dilemma: How do I get over my fastidiousness? One day at a time, step by step - it's going to happen - or else I'll stay single - with cats, lol

Offline

I went offline on Friday, October 10th. I met him ("Justin") on the corner of Broadway and Fulton. He looked just like his pictures so I was pleased. We exchanged kisses on the cheek and embraced in a warm hug, the date began.

We walked leisurely, enjoying the sights along the way until we reached the South Street Seaport. The conversation flowed effortlessly and I found that to be so refreshing (It's an annoying task to carry a conversation). The weather was unseasonably warm so we made the most of it, we stayed outside. We made our way to the benches by the water and engaged in conversation as the sun began to set (what a perfect back drop!). Dusk set in and we were off to the next destination - Where? I had absolutely no idea; The element of surprise kept me on my toes.

We took the L train to 6th Avenue and I followed him to "The Crocodile Lounge". Once inside, I did not feel the scene; the sound of "bang-your-head-into-the-nearest-wall rock music and people screaming at the top of their lungs was not a combination I wanted at that particular moment. When Justin saw my disgruntled visage he suggested we find another spot. How nice, a man who paid attention to the small stuff, like his dates face. We walked up the block to Gray's Papaya for hot dogs and sodas; I felt like a teenager. This date was innocent and I was really enjoying myself. After our meal we decided to try the lounge again and this time we stayed. The music changed and the crowd thinned out so we "cozied" up in a corner. One Sex On The Beach and a Long Island Ice Tea later I realized I was not into him at all. He was a gentleman and very sweet guy, but I just wasn't into him. I did what all ladies do, I excused myself and went to the restroom. While inside my fingers went to work! I sent a mass text out that said, "I'm not into him" to about five girlfriends; about three friends responded. I didn't realize how long I'd been in the restroom until a friend "texted" some sense into me; "Get back out there before he thinks you're taking a dump." - Oh sh*t! I looked at my Blackberry and realized I'd been in the restroom for about 10 minutes.

I went back out and quickly concocted a lie for my long stay in the restroom, "I was checking in on my mom. I had to make sure she was feeling better". Luckily, the excuse was swallowed by him and the date continued. I sipped some more of my cocktail and noticed that he'd just about finished his: Balls On! All of a sudden Justin says "My cheek is a little dry". I gave him a kiss, reluctantly. He was obviously way more into me more than I was into him. Don't get me wrong, I was enjoying myself, but the 'click' just wasn't there, you know?

Before I knew it, we were off to our final destination, another surprise. We exited at West 4th Street and I found myself on line for The Fat Black Pussycat/Village Underground. Sweet! I was excited since I attempted to get into this establishment a few years back, but the venue was full. We descended down the stairs and found seating to the right of the stage. The live band proceeded to jam and I was caught up in the music. Justin kept trying to hold my hand I didn't get it. James Brown's, "I Got The Feeling" was being played and he wanted to hold my hand, WTF? Icing on the cake, the waitress comes over to inform us that there was a two-drink minimum. I told Justin that I'd take the cheapest glass of wine on the menu (I wasn't really in the mood to drink so wine would have been fine for me). He retorts "You mind if I get soda?" I have no idea why he asked me, it's his body..... He put the drink order in and said "I placed an order for two sodas, we're not really gonna drink anymore tonight, right?" I told him that that was cool. However, I peeped game. He didn't have the money to pay for alcoholic beverages, which is all good, but why the hell did he just ask me if I minded if he got a soda? I hate to be mean, but why would he take me all over NYC and not have ample money to pay for things?

The band jammed on and before I knew it the clock was approaching 11 o'clock. Since I had to truck it all the way back to Queens, I told Justin I thought it'd be best to call it a night. Prepare yourself for the sweetest display of chivalry: He told me that he'd get me home; he was prepared to take the F train all the way to the last stop with me and then walk me to my car. He was then going to turn right back around and take the 2 hour train ride to the last stop in Brooklyn: Coney Island. Awwwww! I was touched. I knew that I wanted the date to end right then and there so I declined his offer to escort me home (of course I did it in a nice way).
While exiting the lounge, the singer and saxophonist had made their way off stage and proceeded to walk through the crowd to get the audience involved. We crossed paths with them. The singer goes "Yall are leaving? You're going to have sex aren't you." In my mind I was like "Dude, you have no idea how wrong you are?", but out loud I said "Nope, we're gonna call it a night - Night!"

We walked to the West 4th train station and he waited until the F train pulled into the station. The moment finally arrived: The awkward moment - the goodnight. I didn't want to kiss him on the lips because (1) His lips were slightly chapped and
(2) The connection just wasn't there. The date ended the same way it began, with a warm embrace and a kiss.

While driving home I became lost in my thoughts. Am I just too picky for my own good?????

How to Get Over............

an A**HOLE!!!! I'm rolling my eyes at the sheer thought of the a**holes that I've dealt with in my life. Before I go any further I think it'd be best that I define what an a**hole is. According to dictionary.com an a**hole is " a stupid, mean, or contemptible person." To go further, a contemptible person is "despicable"." With a definition like this why the hell would a person want this person in their life? Why the f*ck were these a**holes in mine? The answer: They served a purpose; they filled a void. They warmed up the other side of the bed. They wined and dined me. They made me feel so damn good and then, so damn bad!

Now you may be asking yourself "What makes an a**hole an a**hole?" Well my dear friends, the criteria is vast - too vast to specify. How about I just write about my personal experiences and let you draw your own conclusion as to what makes an a**hole an a**hole.


First A**hole up, I'll call him "Metrosexual" or "Metro" for short. He's the kind of man that is used to women drooling over him (and men too for that matter). He looks like he just walked off the runway (which isn't too far fetched considering he used to model) every time I see him. {I'm smiling hard and giggling like a little b*tch as I type this}. His smile could illuminate NYC should we have experience another blackout (knocking on wood). Okay, now where was I? Oh yeah, Metro's traits: Intelligent, worldly, confident, practical and suave. At this point you're probably wondering where the a**hole part comes in right? Well, let me lay it on you. He's uber fastidious, flaky, extremely judgemental and the epitome of a no-it-all. We often bumped heads because we're two highly opinionated people. Don't get me wrong, it's cool to debate every once in awhile, but when those debates turns into constant bickering then you have a problem - one that needs to be solved. The last time I saw him we had a good time, but then he disappeared, for weeks.We had tentative plans to see a movie the following week and he didn't even let a sista know! No phone call, no e-mail, no text, no nothing. I stopped calling him and low and behold he came back around. His trifling a** left me a voicemail saying "I'd like to take you to see that new Spike Joint, that is unless one of your boyfriends took you"............ Why do men beat around the bush like that? Why can't they just came out and say what they want? I called him and played the game, I acted like I didn't notice the cessation of communication. I told him that I'd already seen the movie (I didn't) and that when my schedule cleared up I'd call him. Ha! I got the last laugh on that metrosexual jack-a**!


Next jerk up, "Brown Sugar" or "BS" (oh my, how fitting those initials are for him! He's so full of it that he reeks it!). BS is my match and then some. He possesses the gift of gab, is extremely charming, a great dancer & well endowed (you do the math), dark chocolate in complexion, very ambitious, confident, intelligent, tall and always up for something new. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all those things sound great, but here in lies the problem. He's flaky (notice a trend here? A person who cannot keep their word is a pet peeve of mine. Don't talk about it, be about it!). Additional a**hole traits include the complete lack of communication skills with the female sex, not affectionate enough and is too impatient. Despite all this, my dumb ass recently had dinner with him and enjoyed myself. To go one step further, I saw him last night and he made me smile all day at work (you know only one thing can do that - intense bible study!!! LOL - seriously, you know what gives you that glow!;). He's the man that would be able to get me off my deathbed in an instant because I know with him I'll experience a great time.


Last man up to bat, "Eyes". He's been the topic of discussion in quite a few of these blogs,"Soul mates Dissipate...." and "Sex & Men" (does that not tell you how magically delicious I think he is?- and I'm not talking about that scary a** eerie looking leprechaun looking for his pot of gold). Where do I begin? He's a man's man, has the body of a God, smooth skin, intelligent, romantic, extremely generous, considerate, adventurous, confident and funny as hell. This is the man that would have my hand in marriage tomorrow if he'd vow to commit to me the way I want him to - but he won't (and that's what makes him an a**hole). He knows that he's fine and acts accordingly. He juggles women around like he's the headline clown for the Barnum & Bailey Circus.

So how does one get over an a**hole? (1) You come to grips with reality and accept the fact that they're a**holes who will not change unless THEY WANT TO. Period. So ladies, get over that crap about changing your man into the man you want him to be. I tried to do that sh*t for too long, but to no avail. That boy is now the problem of someone else. (2) Let your a**hole in your life know that you have better things to do than to wait for them to come around. What's that saying, "Never make a man your priority when all you are is an option." I've noticed from personal experience that men like a chase. Some chase you until they get what they want and still want to pursue a relationship. A**holes chase you until they get what they want and stop paying you the same attention. The trick is to pay them no attention, they'll come around with all their bullsh*t when they wanna play another game of cat and mouse.
(3) Cry your eyes out until your eyes are dried out. Crying is both empowering and therapeutic. You scrutinize the situation you're in at that exact moment and learn from it. You fester in that moment and make a personal vow to yourself to never put yourself in that situation again so that you won't hurt like that again.

Ultimately, getting over what you define as an a**hole takes time and everyone has their own healing mechanisms. What's yours?

Dare To Be Bold!

This piece was inspired by a few friends. These girlfriends of mine all are in search of boldness and I'm here to share my ideas on how they and my readers can DARE TO BE BOLD!!!!

"Cassie", called me a few days ago and told me that I needed to train her. Here I am racking my brain with what she was talking about until she proceeded to tell me..... Wendy's was the meeting place. Cassie sat down to eat her lunch and BAM, there he was, a fine specimen of a man. They made eye contact and it was obvious that they were into each other, but no one took the initiative to spark a conversation.

"Rachael", is a giving, dear and genuine person. Unfortunately, these are the kind of qualities that people take advantage of far too much. Rachael informed me she goes 30 minutes out of her way on an almost daily basis to drive her co-worker home. This ungrateful b*tch never even offers a dime for gas! WTF?!? To make matters worse, one night last evening Rachael left work early due to illness and this demanding co-worker of hers insisted that she come back for her! Sadly, Rachael went and regretted doing so.

"Dana", recently informed me that she was working on getting herself out there and being more assertive. She's a doll of a woman, but she's still finding a way to get more comfortable in social settings.

"Cynthia" is in love with a gentleman, but can't find the nerve to tell him. I mean she is in LOVE with him, to the point that her eyes well up with tears at just the sheer mention of his name. I think action needs to be taken, but who am I to force her.

To acquire boldness you need a few things. First up: CONFIDENCE: . Girlfriends, confidence is the first quality that needs to be added to your personal list of qualities. "Cassie" knew that if I were in her shoes while in Wendy's I would have told that man that I was interested and that I would have given him my phone number. My thing is this, what's the worse I'll hear, no? So the f**k what!! Life goes on and the earth will still keep spinning! Confidence can get the most unconventionally unattractive person noticed. Case in point, there's a Dominican dude in Walgreens that always gets my attention. He's about 100 pounds overweight, but his swagger is up. I went in Walgreens this morning for a few toiletries and saw him. Wouldn't you know that he gave me his number? The funny thing is, his weight is the last thing I thought about when I was face to face with him. His confidence and smile made me pocket his number; if we don't hook up romantically perhaps a friendship can blossom, you never know ;).

Next up, Assertiveness: . An assertive person conveys their message in a calm and confident way all the while maintaining eye contact and sounding in control. When men (that you're interested in) are confronted by an assertive, confident women, their interest is peaked! That's half the battle, you're in there! Work the charm that's innate in you ladies! Women have a way with the said and unsaid; we have a way with words and with body language. Use it! If you find that the person you're speaking to is not interested, don't fret. You may not his type and that's okay. There are other men out there, go on to the next guy!

Next, High Self-Esteem: . When an individual has high self-esteem it shows. They're not fixated on the negatives, but on the positives. Those with high self-esteem have come to the realization that they are not perfect (just like the rest of society) and they embrace their imperfections. I recall watching an episode of the Tyra Banks show and she advised her guest to look in the mirror on a daily basis to find one thing about themselves that they loved. She then proceeded to to tell this individual to add one new thing to that list once a month, for twelve months; Before they knew it, they'd have 12 things. This is a great way to start appreciating the great traits about yourself.

Finally, Laugh At Yourself: .
Laughing at yourself is cool and often causes others to laugh as well (unless you're just straight up crazy). A person who doesn't mind being the butt of a joke often exudes confidence. Take me for example, I was walking down the stairs in Grand Central Station without a care in the world when OOPS! My right heel caught in the left cuff of my pants and I fell down a few stairs, lol. Thankfully, the bannister I held onto for dear life broke my fall. I laughed hysterically and got up & proceeded to walk like I was still the s**t!

The point of this entire piece is that CONFIDENCE goes a hell of a long way. It can get you noticed by those who wouldn't necessarily give you the time of day. How else do you think beautiful woman wind up with unconventionally attractive men (who aren't rolling in dough) or vice versa? Confidence! Acquiring confidence takes some time (believe me I know since I had my bouts with it), but once it's acquired you'll notice the difference and so will those around you.

Ladies, get out there, try something new (a makeover, a dance class, a cooking class, etc.) and in the process learn something new about yourself and fall in love with it. Dare to be bold and I guarantee you, others will notice it too!

Internet Love

I found a prospective man, on the Internet of all places! Me being the skeptic that I am, was totally against Internet dating until a few months ago. I was against it because I thought there was a stigma associated with Internet dating, that stigma being the person using the Internet to find romance can't find it in the conventional way, in person. Besides that, you know what the consensus is about Internet love, there are all types of weirdos lurking there.

I had an experience with match.com that I didn't particularly take seriously. Two dear cousins, along with a mutual friend of one of my cousins decided to take a chance and used this website as an outlet to find love.

My cousin, "Jasmine", landed a cute guy (really cute), but that didn't last too long - NEXT! Our mutual friend, "Gaby", wound up communicating with a few men, but never really hit it off with anyone in particular. My other cousin, "Morgan", hit it off with someone. He was tall, dark and handsome (you know, what just about all of us want), educated and packin' (a big D that is - something else we all want). To top it all off, he was the owner of his own property, ching ching, JACKPOT! It seemed as though my dear Morgan had found her Mr. Right, WRONG! This dude was nothing more than a pretentious narcissist, NEXT! As for me and my match.com experience, where do I begin?

I didn't go into this new adventure with a defeatist attitude, but rather with an open mind so my expectations weren't too high. I wasn't asking for much, but Damn! I swear to God, almost all the men on this site are 5'8" or shorter, WTF? I'm 5'7" without shoes and 5'10" or taller with them. Therefore, I don't like short men and neither do my shoes. Sidebar: I sound a bit fastidious huh? Oh well! Needless to say I didn't really hit it off with anyone on match.com and the experience was no "skin off my back."

Besides match.com I gave Myspace a chance and boy was that a joke! I received a friend request from a gentleman. I found him attractive so I made him my "Myspace friend". We started communication over the Internet and after about two days we exchanged phone numbers. The vibe was cool offline so I suggested we meet in person. We met in Midtown and I was impressed - impressed that this man knew magic! How else could he make himself look so good online and so not good offline? He used his magical powers to lure me to Midtown that faithful night, but while in front of him he annoyed the hell out of me. After speaking with him for a few moments I knew that date was going to be over within two hours. I suggested we go to a local Cuban restaurant and do you know what this dude said? He told me that he just paid his rent and phone bill. I know good and well that I didn't ask him that, but I peeped his game. He was letting me know in so many words that he didn't have enough money to pay for my meal. It was all good. I spared him the embarrassment and proposed that we go Dutch this time around. While we dined I couldn't help but think how unsure he seemed of himself. He kept telling me how he couldn't believe I was single. I felt like saying, "believe it dumb ass", but I refrained from being rude. I ended the date off by telling him that it was getting rather late and that I'd better get home. We parted our separate ways and severed ties soon after. That was the end of my Myspace dating.

Onto the new phenom, e-Harmony. You've probably seen the great commercials for this website. It seems that there are a heap of couples who not only found love, but made commitments to each other in marriage. Someone very near and dear to my heart found love here. She found the best guy she's dated to date. Not only am I excited for her, but I'm excited for myself! To see someone so close to me find love after searching for a little while is refreshing. It makes me believe that love is still out there for the taking. "Tyler" has had a smile on her face since she's met him and that makes me happy. Tyler suggested I try e-Harmony, but I declined. I told myself that I wasn't going to look for love, it was going to find me.

Coming full circle, I started communication with someone on Facebook and it's been going exceptionally well. We share a mutual friend and that's probably the only reason I gave him a chance. He "poked" me and I decided to send him a message. After about a week of back and forth e-mails I am interested. He's ambitious, in school pursuing his masters in architecture, tall, funny, attractive and intriguing. I find myself actually looking forward to receiving his messages. I will see how the next few days go and I may just propose that we speak on the phone. Who knew? He made the first move by "poking" me and I may make the next move.... Stay tuned, I hope our first date isn't like "Lightning Struck Again, So Where's the Electricity", ha!