How to Get Over............

an A**HOLE!!!! I'm rolling my eyes at the sheer thought of the a**holes that I've dealt with in my life. Before I go any further I think it'd be best that I define what an a**hole is. According to dictionary.com an a**hole is " a stupid, mean, or contemptible person." To go further, a contemptible person is "despicable"." With a definition like this why the hell would a person want this person in their life? Why the f*ck were these a**holes in mine? The answer: They served a purpose; they filled a void. They warmed up the other side of the bed. They wined and dined me. They made me feel so damn good and then, so damn bad!

Now you may be asking yourself "What makes an a**hole an a**hole?" Well my dear friends, the criteria is vast - too vast to specify. How about I just write about my personal experiences and let you draw your own conclusion as to what makes an a**hole an a**hole.


First A**hole up, I'll call him "Metrosexual" or "Metro" for short. He's the kind of man that is used to women drooling over him (and men too for that matter). He looks like he just walked off the runway (which isn't too far fetched considering he used to model) every time I see him. {I'm smiling hard and giggling like a little b*tch as I type this}. His smile could illuminate NYC should we have experience another blackout (knocking on wood). Okay, now where was I? Oh yeah, Metro's traits: Intelligent, worldly, confident, practical and suave. At this point you're probably wondering where the a**hole part comes in right? Well, let me lay it on you. He's uber fastidious, flaky, extremely judgemental and the epitome of a no-it-all. We often bumped heads because we're two highly opinionated people. Don't get me wrong, it's cool to debate every once in awhile, but when those debates turns into constant bickering then you have a problem - one that needs to be solved. The last time I saw him we had a good time, but then he disappeared, for weeks.We had tentative plans to see a movie the following week and he didn't even let a sista know! No phone call, no e-mail, no text, no nothing. I stopped calling him and low and behold he came back around. His trifling a** left me a voicemail saying "I'd like to take you to see that new Spike Joint, that is unless one of your boyfriends took you"............ Why do men beat around the bush like that? Why can't they just came out and say what they want? I called him and played the game, I acted like I didn't notice the cessation of communication. I told him that I'd already seen the movie (I didn't) and that when my schedule cleared up I'd call him. Ha! I got the last laugh on that metrosexual jack-a**!


Next jerk up, "Brown Sugar" or "BS" (oh my, how fitting those initials are for him! He's so full of it that he reeks it!). BS is my match and then some. He possesses the gift of gab, is extremely charming, a great dancer & well endowed (you do the math), dark chocolate in complexion, very ambitious, confident, intelligent, tall and always up for something new. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all those things sound great, but here in lies the problem. He's flaky (notice a trend here? A person who cannot keep their word is a pet peeve of mine. Don't talk about it, be about it!). Additional a**hole traits include the complete lack of communication skills with the female sex, not affectionate enough and is too impatient. Despite all this, my dumb ass recently had dinner with him and enjoyed myself. To go one step further, I saw him last night and he made me smile all day at work (you know only one thing can do that - intense bible study!!! LOL - seriously, you know what gives you that glow!;). He's the man that would be able to get me off my deathbed in an instant because I know with him I'll experience a great time.


Last man up to bat, "Eyes". He's been the topic of discussion in quite a few of these blogs,"Soul mates Dissipate...." and "Sex & Men" (does that not tell you how magically delicious I think he is?- and I'm not talking about that scary a** eerie looking leprechaun looking for his pot of gold). Where do I begin? He's a man's man, has the body of a God, smooth skin, intelligent, romantic, extremely generous, considerate, adventurous, confident and funny as hell. This is the man that would have my hand in marriage tomorrow if he'd vow to commit to me the way I want him to - but he won't (and that's what makes him an a**hole). He knows that he's fine and acts accordingly. He juggles women around like he's the headline clown for the Barnum & Bailey Circus.

So how does one get over an a**hole? (1) You come to grips with reality and accept the fact that they're a**holes who will not change unless THEY WANT TO. Period. So ladies, get over that crap about changing your man into the man you want him to be. I tried to do that sh*t for too long, but to no avail. That boy is now the problem of someone else. (2) Let your a**hole in your life know that you have better things to do than to wait for them to come around. What's that saying, "Never make a man your priority when all you are is an option." I've noticed from personal experience that men like a chase. Some chase you until they get what they want and still want to pursue a relationship. A**holes chase you until they get what they want and stop paying you the same attention. The trick is to pay them no attention, they'll come around with all their bullsh*t when they wanna play another game of cat and mouse.
(3) Cry your eyes out until your eyes are dried out. Crying is both empowering and therapeutic. You scrutinize the situation you're in at that exact moment and learn from it. You fester in that moment and make a personal vow to yourself to never put yourself in that situation again so that you won't hurt like that again.

Ultimately, getting over what you define as an a**hole takes time and everyone has their own healing mechanisms. What's yours?