Rubik's Cube

This was not supposed to happen. I was not supposed to be into him all over again. I was not supposed to be smitten and all googly-eyed like this! I wrote about how to get over an a**hole, but apparently I really don't know because I'm not over him. I'm not over Metro. Just writing about him now has me grinning like a little b**ch.

I went to see him on Friday after Thanksgiving. Oh before I forget, I must fill you in on my Thanksgiving with B.S (the other a**hole that I got over successfully). I went over there, not as his date, but as the f**king cook. There was no romance there whatsoever. I wound up making the majority of the sides and all in attendance enjoyed the spread. All and all, I made the most of the situation and enjoyed myself. He went to bed before me and I joined him later that night; we cuddled and that was about it. He woke up to go to work and I went back home to Queens. I was content with doing absolutely nothing with him, because I know that he's not the one for me.

On Friday I went to spend time with Metro. I drove back out to BK and enjoyed my time with him..... That night we watched movies, cuddled and enjoyed each other's company. The following morning I was awakened by kisses all over my body - talk about sensual wake up call. Mmmm, I'm smirking a devious grin at the mere thought of
what was followed by those sensual kisses... He makes me smile, he makes me feel like a school girl, I really like him, but he's.......

He's like a Rubik's cube: He's complicated, yet challenging. He's complex, yet so simple (as I begin to learn him). I want to put him down because I keep getting frustrated, but he fascinates me and he holds my attention. He intrigues me and I am determined to solve this puzzle.

It's the simple things.... The simple things mean so much. After cuddling on the sofa while watching movies I fell asleep on his chest while he caressed my stomach. He made the bed and we both went into it at around. Although I wanted to do something, nothing went down, sleepiness set in....Why rush? - there was always the next day.

The next day came and I got what I wanted: Sensuality, tenderness, intensity and intimacy. My body and mind craved all of these things..... The question that I'm plagued with is why I had all of these things with the man I deemed an "a**hole" so few months ago.

My male friends read my pieces and tell me that Metro isn't all bad. From their constructive criticism I've come to learn that I do blow things out of proportion from time to time.

Could Metro be the one or am I just caught in a dreamworld?

Slid In With Humor... Will He Stay?

So this is his story.... He's not Caucasian, he's Hispanic (Puerto Rican to be exact), 36, divorced, a father to an 8 year old child and works for the post office. He dwells in my borough (in his own co-op) and has his own ride. Sweet. He's hilarious and very confident. He was born and raised in Harlem, lived in Brooklyn for a minute and now resides in Queens.

Here in lies the problem, he has money issues. Can someone please explain to me why men step to women knowing that they don't have the money to take them out? Here's a recap: We met Monday, November 10th and we've yet to go out on a date yet. We've spoken on the phone several times and I'm anxious to go out with him, but he's full of excuses. He works Wednesday through Sunday from 3:30pm to 11:30pm and on days that he doesn't work he's with his daughter. I took the initiative and proposed that we link up last night after he finished his shift. Do you know what this man said? "I would love to see you, but my money is tight. Black Friday tapped me out." What kind of s**t was that? I was so turned off!

At this point, I am sure that his jokes are going to get less and less funny because he's broke and I'm really not in the mood for broke men!

The Dating Game

I've been playing this game for the last two years. This is getting a bit monotonous at this point. I never thought I'd be one of those women to accept an invite to a social outing and ask "will there be men there?" - Ahhhhhhhhh, what has become of me? When did I become so, so desperate?

In continuation of the last piece: http://theinquisitive1.blogspot.com/2008/11/damn-it-man.html, that "somebody" never called. Here's the background on dude. As I was making my way to class last Wednesday (11/12) I met him. I had just gotten off the E train and was walking to school. I saw him (a white dude with flavor) on the phone in the distance. I played it cool when I walked by him, you know - couldn't show my desperation (lol.) As I neared him I saw him staring at me. I walked by and he said "hello." I shot a "hello" back his way and kept it moving. As I kept on walking I felt someone behind me. You know that feeling right; the feeling of someone behind you? Well I "felt" him so I took my earphones out of my ears to hear him ask "How are you miss?"... I stopped. I had nothing to lose at this point. He said "I just wanted to tell you you're fine and it's not because your black." After a brief giggle I replied "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He proceeds to tell me that he found me attractive and that he didn't want me to think that he was saying that because of my race. We exchanged formalities and I found out that his name was "J". He asked if he could get in contact with me later and I said that was cool. Actually I said "Sure, do you have a card of something?". He replied "No I don't have a card of sun-thin", in a joking mocking way. {Gentleman take heed - if you want to get a woman's attention, make her laugh. I guarantee you that you have your "in". To stay "in" you better not f**k it up by saying something inappropriate or rude!} He asked for my number and I gave it to him and walked away. That was Wednesday and today is Sunday. No call from J - ah well.....

I went to my cousin's birthday happy hour at Fashion 40 on Friday (11/14) and had a ball. I got my dance on, my drink on, but unfortunately, not my flirt on. Why you may ask? The reason: I walked in and saw the ratio of women to men, about 7:1 - wtf was I in Lucille Roberts (lol, shout out to "Cassie")? With a ratio like that what women would want to stay? Damn, I'm mad that I even wrote that! Back in the day I went out strictly to party with my girls, to dance, drink and bug out. When I went to Fashion 40 I actually hoped that I'd hit it off with a gentleman worthy of my time. The only dude I saw was dude from(http://theinquisitive1.blogspot.com/2008/09/lightning-struck-so-wherebut-it-didnt.html) and I was not trying to get reacquainted with him; He bought me the wrong SATC DVD (which is still in the glove compartment of my car in it's original wrapping). When the hell did I become such a prowler for new male company? What happened to the days of going out to just dance, drink and bug out with my girlfriends? Ahhh, I know what happened - birthdays.... I'm getting older and the proverbial biological clock is ticking!!!!! Tick tock tock!!!

I swear it's way easier for men to meet women than for women to meet men. Men have a slew of women literally throwing themselves at them, so all they have to do is take their pick. For women, the pickings are slim. We have to worry about whether or not the men are on the DL, married or in a relationship - that's only a quarter of the battle. If they have children we have to worry about "babymamadrama", whether or not he has a good job, has his own place and if has his own vehicle. I'm just getting started! We need know about his ambition, his goals, whether or not he's motivated, whether or not he wants to get married and whether or not he wants to have kids (if he doesn't already have offspring). I'm still going people!!! I think I'll touch on a biggie: Pipe game!!!! We have to worry about how sexually compatible that man is with us. We wonder, is he romantic? Is he into cuddling? Is he into spontaneous trips? Will he cook for me? Will he give me sensual massages without being prompted to do so? Is he considerate? I'm still going (I'm like that damn bunny huh?)! Is he cheap? Is he willing to go out of his way to treat me like a queen? Will he cherish me? Can he be trusted? Will he teach me new things? I could still keep going, but I won't because it won't end.

This dating game is insane....... Whoa, I took a break while writing this and received a phone call from Mr. Brown Sugar (for his history, see http://theinquisitive1.blogspot.com/2008/09/how-to-get-over.html). Is this the week of the a**hole? Hmmmmm...... 1st Metro (he called me last Friday, Monday & Tuesday - dayum!), now B.S. So what did he want? He wanted me to join him and his intimate circle of friends for his first Thanksgiving in his new condo. Awwww, I was shocked. I admit, I am a sucker! He asked that I get back to him by Monday...... I replied yes. I think it'll be a good time...... I'll let you know how that goes.

I spoke too soon! As I am finishing this piece I have to write about the latest developments. J called me yesterday while I was at work, but I was unable to speak. He sent me a text message this evening and I told him that I'd give him a call around 9ish so we can finally catch up. We spoke........ I'll fill you in in my next piece...

It looks like I'll be a player in this dating game for a while...... I sometimes have to ask myself, "Am I willing to trade in this single life for a relationship?" I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. In the meantime I'll continue to enjoy the scenic route.

Delusions of Grandeur

I've spoken about him time after time again. He's that sexy, tall, confident, romantic, smart ass that I can't seem to get enough of; Metro (http://theinquisitive1.blogspot.com/2008/09/how-to-get-over.html), I recently decided to not expect anything from him. I decided to no longer reach out to him because I became tired of the games that we've been playing: dating that leads to nowhere, petty arguments, month long hiatuses in communication, the "I'm-too-busy-to-see-you-weekends." Every girl has her limit.

Metro reached out to me via gmail IM last Thursday. Check this conversation out and tell me if I got it right when I listed him in the A**HOLE category!


Me: Hello
Metro: Ms Cunningham, how r u?
Me: I'm well thanks and yourself?
Metro: I am well
Me: cool
Metro: watching CNN checking emails
Me: Oh yeah CNN seems to be the talk of the day
Metro: great coverage
Me: Yes indeed. I will catch it when I go to catch lunch in a few. How was your night?
Metro: It was cool, watched CNN from 7pm until 1:30am
Me: gotcha. I didn't watch CNN, ch 4 - turned it off after Barack's acceptance speech. Very inspiring - very nice. McCain's concession speech was very graceful as well
Metro: I thought McCains speech was GREAT!!!!!
Me: totally
Metro: very impressed
Me: I concur
Metro: I sat there like wow
Me: word! K and I were in awe
Metro: thought you didn't care
Me: what? I never said that. I said that I am neutral. There's a difference. I don't participate but I do observe and respect what takes place.
Metro: A black man was involved, neutral is not an option
Me: Same thing for the pledging of allegiance
Metro: That means you don't care
Me: You're obviously disrespectful of my views. Whether or not a black man was involved has absolutely nothing to do with my religious beliefs. Period. Voting is a PERSONAL decision and one that should be private. I am elated for history being made, but I am and will forever remain neutral when it comes to politics
Metro: Melinda lighten the f**k up, things not always that serious
Me: Dude - Re-read what you wrote and then you lighten the F**K UP!!! Your mouth is too much sometime I swear
Metro: Never too much, you take things to damn serious
Me: I do not
Metro: I said I thought you didn't care. If that was disrespectful then I don't know what disrespest is
Me: You then proceeded to tell me that since a black man was involved that me being neutral wasn't an option
Metro: And that was disrespectful?
Me: You blatantly said that being neutral (my stand) was not an option. You didn't respect my decision to remain neutral you told me that being neutral was not an option.
Metro: You are fucking nuts
Me: Think about it from my perspective. You're an a**hole
Metro: I am not that high strung I can't
Me: We're tit for tat
Metro: Dude, its not this serious
Me: F**k you Metro. I mean that from the bottom of my heart
Metro: Can i see you tonight?
Me: no thank you, school
Metro: Come on, don't be like that
Me: Meant, nah - school
Metro: After school
Me: I'm not being like anything. You pissed me the f**k off just now. Your smugness is a bit much sometime. You know how you can get and I really don't care to see you
Metro: You think in a few hours you can change you mind
Me: Think before you share your opinions with highly opinionated people Metro. I'm not a psychic - don't know what the future holds
Metro: Holding grudges is not very Godly and I think we need to see each other
Me: I am not holding a grudge. I am simply worked up and I am not trying to see you in this state
Metro: This state means now
Me: This I know
Metro: 9 hours from now is different
Me: yeah yeah yeah
Metro: Come on, be a sport
Me: Had to get that last word out. Feel good about yourself now?
Metro: See what I mean
Me: You're too much. Charm goes but so far love
Metro: Lighten up, the last word is not even on my radar, all I want is a YES. Again, lighten up. No charm here. I WANT A YES PERIOD
Me: Well I don't give out a yes unless I am so inclined, that's what happens when you deal with a stubborn broad
Metro: So what time do you get out of class so I can meet you
Me: I get out of class at 8:30 and I don't want to meet you tonight
Metro: So 9ish
Me: You ticked me off - nope
Metro: 9:30ish
Me: No sir
Metro: So u serious?
Me: I am Metro
Metro: Ok (not type something so u can have the last word) now
**************************************************************

A few minutes later the dialogue continued....

Metro: You change your mind yet?
Me: I still hate you
Metro: that means yes(i am dancing a jig).
Me: what makes you think that means yes?
Metro: ummmmmm, because you are smiling
Me: Actually I'm not I'm stuffing my face with grapes and singing "My neck, my back" by Kia - that dirty woman!
Metro: I can handle that
Me: I see
Metro: Seriously I just to see you
Me: Wait - you can handle what? my singing, lol. Well I must be honest with you - My room is a mess and I need to clean it
Metro: ok Melinda catch you another time
Me: cool
Metro: My love

He just doesn't get it. Why do I even entertain this man? He's oblivious and quite content living in his narcissistic bubble.

The Devil Wears Multi-Colored Scrungies

Forget about that fashion forward b**ch in "The Devil Wears Prada", I work under the direction of a different evil God. She's a slovenly, hairy, underhanded, despicable, nosy, unprofessional woman. The mere sight of her disgusts me on a daily basis.

Day in and day out I am subjected to her negativity. With her, the glass is always half empty; the contents are always murky. Everyone is always "stupid" just because she deems the so. To make matters worse, we share a small office with absolutely no privacy.

It is shallow to criticize her attire, this I know, but we work in a shallow environment: A PR firm. Our colleagues (both young and older) traipse around the office in the newest, trendiest, fashion forward garments. Meanwhile, SHE parades around the office in Capri pants (no matter the season with socks and bright white sneakers). As if that weren't enough this devil doesn't put a razor to her gargantuan chubakaesque legs. Recently an impromptu meeting was held with a vendor, myself, my boss' boss and HER. The representative from the vendor kept staring at legs as if they were scaring her. The exposure of hairy shins in late October must have caught her off guard. She was probably not used to summer attire in mid-autumn. Neither am I; in mid-autumn, late autumn, early winter, mid-winter, late winter or early spring. However, I'm subjected to this unprofessional get up Monday -Friday.

Enough of the clothes I think I need to address her hairstyle. Can someone please tell me why she wears her hair in two: A ponytail on top - at the base, a poofy turquoise or purple scrungie. For the bottom, she freaks it with a braid and a different colored thin scrungie at the bottom. Wow! On some occasions she braids the top ponytail too - when she's going for that extra pizazz.

SHE has a visible mustache that adolescent boys would be jealous of, yet she does absolutely nothing about it.

I have offered on more than one occasion to make her over, but she declines incessantly. Ah well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force them to drink. I use that analogy for HER sake because she won't do anything she doesn't want to do. To be honest, I think she's depressed. I actually feel sorry for her. However, there are those times that she gets under my skin and makes me it crawl. When those instances arise, I have no sympathy for her whatsoever. As I write this I feel absolutely no remorse.

SHE made my work life a living hell for so many months; finally its over. I don't have to deal with her and her antics anymore. She's now the problem of someone else - Homer!

DAMN IT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

This is not what I wanted to happen. What? Everything! How about I back track and go in order as opposed to buggin out the way I am now. I went to see about "Mr. MTA" and I was disappointed yet again. My fastidiousness kicked in and did not like what I saw: the dude behind the glass had braids, not dreads, braids. Anyone who knows me knows I'm over braids...

I went all the way back downtown to go and work my charm, but that never happened. I scrutinized him a bit more and realized that he wasn't all that attractive after all. It's all good, someone else has already stepped to me..... That posting is coming soon.....