Here's the setup: It's been a while since you've really dug a guy and he's reciprocated those feelings, so when you finally meet someone who's into you as much as you are into him you hold onto it for dear life! Shoot, in place like NYC (where being single is the new black) it's hard to find someone that can be a potential mate.
What do you do when you've approached that awkward moment: You've gone on a few dates and you've reached the point in the relationship where you just don't want to show your real feelings. Perhaps you've been recently hurt and you don't want to get your fragile heart broken again? Or maybe it's because you don't want to appear too "thirsty" or come off too smothering. Or perhaps it's simply because you just don't know how the other person is feeling and you don't want to step out on a ledge without a safety net.
I've been there. I've stared at the phone wondering if I should pick up the phone and reach out to him. I've dialed the first 8 digits of that 10 digit number and then hung up and tossed the phone aside because at that moment I'd had doubts.
As I reminisce and think about the last time I was with a guy who gave me butterflies I think (very vividly might I add) about the beginning of that "getting-to-know-each-other-phase". I met him a while ago and I was such a sucka for love! I was head over heels for him. I recall going to work and enduring eight hour shifts on less then three hours of sleep. That part wasn't bad, but doing that several consecutive times in a week took it's toll on my body, but I didn't mind.
I kept a Kool-Aid grin plastered on my glowing face! That "I'm-dating-someone-new-who-I-like-and-he-likes-me-just-as-much" aura was all around me! Until..... It stopped. I found it bizarre that I didn't get the same sweet text messages as frequently as was accustomed to. No more "I hope you have a good day at work today babe" or "Good morning beautiful" - it turned into text messages here and there. The novelty had worn off but I didn't know why. As I sit here and write this I wonder if we were getting too comfortable with each other too soon?
What makes a new blossoming relationship take that shift; the shift to the Dead Zone?
Taylor" has found herself in this predicament. She's recently reonnected with a special someone in her life, but feels as though he may just not be that into her (Damn that movie - I swear it f**ked up so many women's minds) just because he is not communicating with her as much.
When this happens should we women take matters into our own hands and reach out to our new beau or just go with the flow?
What's your take?
4 comments:
This sounds almost exactly like what I went through a couple of years ago. So didn't see the cool down coming. It was pretty much a too much too soon situation.
I'd suggest talking with the guy on a good day. You never know, he may actually be ok with communicating.
I have been in the same predicament and what I tell myself is that when I am unsure if I am gong to make a hasty decision about a new beau...I tell myself to sleep on it (as to not get all worked up and consumed over someone that I am still unsure of his worth) and if I feel the same way about it the next day, then I say something. If in the morning im not feeling the same the I just let it flow...And if I do say something, I am very conscious of my wording as to not scare the guy but to be as candid as possible to stand up for myself and needs.
I think too often we do get excited about a new potential and forget to remain grounded....
Hope that helps and makes sense..but Taylor will be fine..and I'm sure of it
I would say "go with the flow or move on to the next". I think that serious communication when you are just dating is the beginning of the end. Dating is supposed to be very simple with no pressure, until you guys have reached an extended length of time and agree to take things to the next level. Women now a days are so independent and aggressive that we say whatever is on our minds with no qualms of the impending threat that our mouth might cause. Ladies, the guy you are MEANT to be with will show you he is really into you without being asked and if you have to ask he's not meant for you. We really need to switch our thinking around so men don't have so much control over the dating process and relationship all the time. Tap into your inner intuition and free yourselves from the burden of not being sure and caring so much about this guy you barely know. If he's into you, not wooing you properly and you fallback because he's not on his game; he is going to play the game harder. I have learned in my experience that not speaking says volumes. The second you stop worrying about losing this guy you'll realize that because he was into you he is not going to let you go anywhere so don't worry about losing out on a good match by lack of questioning. I also pose instead of saying "he's just not that into you", say "he's just not meant for me" or "he is just not the one for me". Therefore we as women won't be putting too much emphasis in what a guy is feeling but how WE feel about the situation. Forget what he feels, do you feel its right? I agree with you Inquisitive One when you say that movie "He's Just Not That Into You" has really done a number on women thinking and not in a positive way.
REACH OUT - find out what's really good...see where his head is at and confirm whether it's on you. Never know until you ask - is it worse to wish that you said something when you bit your tounge - or is it worse to say something that you wish you never had....you'll have to make that decision.
"Mr. Everytime"
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