I hate.........

As I made the commute this morning from my home to the city (via the F train) I realized that I hate several things.. I figured I'd share this list. If you hate some of these things, feel free to comment!

People Who Clip Their Nails on the Train - OMFG, can we say gross? This iritates the hell outta me! That noise makes me cringe. What makes it worse is what these people do with the nails once they cut them off - they let them drop to the floor - YUCK!

Rainy Days on the Train - Why is that when you step foot on the train on a rainy day some people smell like dirty wet dogs?

Close Talkers w/ Bad Breathe - As if talking so close to me that I can see your pores wasn't bad enough, adding bad breathe makes it 10x worse. When your breathe smells like boiled bologna its not a good idea to be a close talker. In honor of the new eclipse gum campaign "Dude seriously"! (Get a damn mint and move back about 3 paces back before you open your mouth and disrespect my entire lifestyle!)

People That Lick Their Fingers B4 Turning a Page or Counting Money - I sat on the train this morning and watched this woman lick her finger every single cot damn time she turned the page of the free daily newspaper (Metro). All I could do was shoot death rays her way; unfortunately she didn't respond to my repulsed face. If looks could kill...... On another occassion I had a dude give me change for food I purchased. He sat there and licked his fingers (I saw the glob of saliva on his fingers) and proceeded to get my change. I waited for him to finish counting my change and said, "Thanks, now can I have change without your spit on it?" In the words of that "Clueless" broad "As if"?

Ugly People and PDA - When I see an attractive couple showing PDA I ususally look the other way and let them enjoy the moment. When I see ugly people displaying their affection in public I feel like putting a potato sack over their heads and bannishing them to a cave in the mountains so that I and the rest of society aren't subjected to this outrage! They should get tickets from NYPD for endangering the life of others. It's dangerous to my health to see this.

People Who Dance Too Fast to Music - Dude, can you slow the f*ck down? Are you on speed? How come you're breakdancing to the Cha Cha Slide?

People Who Chew With Their Mouth Open - What makes these people think that I want to see the slop in their mouths as the enzymes break their food down? Do they not realize that they resemble hippopotamuses eating in the wild?

Guys With "Moose" Knuckles - What are "moose knuckle" and how do they relate to men, you may ask? Moose knuckles are visible when men wear pants too small for them and as a result of this, their scrotums look like the knuckles of these large mammals. Ewwwww.....

People Who Match Too Much - I saw a dude today that totally disrespected my favorite color, royal blue. He had on a royal blue "do-rag", a royal blue t-shirt, denim shorts, royal blue socks and white sneakers. Besides looking like a pimped out geriatric patient, he looked extremely tacky - he resembles cookie monster and we weren't on Sesame Street. People, not matching is the new black, leave the matching to little kids in kindergarten.

People Who Crack Jokes That Aren't Funny - How come these people don't realize their jokes never amuse anyone. If you have to end your joke "that was funny the last time I said that" - then you're not funny. Stick to what you do best, being a dork.

Men That Wear "Muscle Shirts", But Aren't Muscular - If the your percentage of body fat matches your age then you probably shouldn't wear a "muscle shirt". If you don't have well chisled abs, biceps, triceps, pecs, etc. spare the rest of society and put on a t-shirt. Stay in the gym, you'll get into that muscle shirt yet!

People Who Live In Glass Houses and Throw Stones - I know a woman who would be deemed morbidly obese by all health care professionals in the U.S, yet she insists on telling me about overweight people she sees on her commute to work that look fat and nasty. In my mind I'm thinking ("she's the last one to talk). Why would she do this? These people are the epitome of judgemental and that kills me. Why be the first to past judgment when you're not exactly the pinnacle of perfection?