Boredom Made Me Do It!

Qutting time! You simultaneously hit 'Control', 'Alt', 'Delete', pack your bag and get the hell outta dodge. "Thank God it's Friday", you tell yourself as you wait for the elevator to come whisk you down to the lobby. In a few moments, you're out the door and on the train anticipating your stop, you can't wait to change into some cozy sweats and slip into your bed. As you flip the pages of your "commute book" you wonder what you'll get into later that night. Hmmmmmmmm......

The minute you walk in the door you indulge in a much needed glass of wine and unwind. Hell, it's been a long week, have another. "Ahhhhh", a sigh of relief and the feeling of serenity is acquired. Now that you're all relaxed your mind is working on the next thing, what's going on for the weekend?

You call about three girlfriends and to your dismay they all give you the same response: "I'm chilling with ___________ (fill in her beau's name here)tonight." "Great, f**kin' great", you think to yourself, but you digress. Agita and loneliness set in. You're bored and you want company, male company. Sh*t, all that wine has taken a toll on your hormones.

You look through your address book for prospective company with one goal in mind: To find someone you can pass time with. You land on "___"(fill in the first letter of the guy you KNOW you should not be calling, but you do it anyway here). You reached "him" and you just hit the green button on your phone. "Hey, what's up "_________", busy tonight? No? You should come through, I just received some new DVD's from Netflix and I'm about to order some Thai, interested? Cool, I'll see you in about an hour then."

Why the hell do we do this ladies? Why do we call men we swore we'd never deal with again when we're all alone? Here's my hypothesis: First boredom sets in. Next, we get extremely horny. We think about the last time we've had sex and we shake our heads in disbelief because its been that long. Finally we develop a case of convenient amnesia. We CONVENIENTLY forget all about the bad things: His arrogance, his annoying habits, his insensitive & unwelcome smart a** remarks, the blatant blowing off of our feelings (not considering things that make us happy - bringing us flowers, taking us out on dates, showing us romance, etc.) his unwanted touches in the most awkward places (your ears, your knuckles, your ankles - wtf?), his unintelligent statements.... You get my drift. We forget about all these things, but CONVENIENTLY remember (and very vividly might I add) his size, the way he made you feel, the things he said while was inside of you for seconds, minutes (or hours if you're lucky) of pleasure. What a f**king trade off. Is it really worth it?

He agrees to come over and you dance a little jig. Ring.....Ring.... It's him. You exchange casualties, enjoy a drink or two and chill. Before you know it, the act is committed. It's good. You're spooning in bed and then he does it. He says that one dumb a** thing that makes you want to kick him the f**k out NOW! Who are you kidding? Did you really think that he'd change this time? Of course you did, in fact you hoped and prayed he wouldn't say something stupid. To your dismay he did and you sit there fuming. "Why did I call this motherf**ker?", you ask yourself. You shake your head because you already know the answer, BOREDOM.

Been bored lately?