The Clock Stopped

Bzzzzz....Bzzzzz.... That was the sound of my BlackBerry as it vibrated on my desk at work. I glanced at the screen and saw a phone number. "Hmmmm, who is this?" I pondered. It's not a bill collector (not an 800 number, so I'll answer). On the other hand its someone I don't speak to frequently (otherwise their name would have appeared). Do I really want to answer this? Bzzzzz..... Let me pick this call up before they hang up.

"Melinda ********* speaking" (that's my "I-don't-who's-on-the-other-end-of-this-phone-right-now-so-I'll-answer-like-I-answer-my-work-phone-just-in-case-its-someone-important" greeting). "Hello", the voice says. Is this who I think it is? Oh God, not him again. "Who is this?" I query, already somewhat knowledgable of who it was. "Don't hang up, it's.... It's.... It's "Kyle". I was right, it was him - the man that makes me contort my face in a manner as if I've just inhaled the most vile scent on earth known to man. With the mere mention of his name I roll my eyes and think about. Ugh, even as I type this my visage is an unpleasant one.

Tick tock tick tock tick..... Tick..... Tock....... Stop! Time stood still. I skipped a breath. My heart fluttered. In the word of "Pop" from the The Color Purple, "The dead has arisen". It's been months since he's bothered me. Kyle is my ex. The man that I spent 5 1/2 years in a monogamous relationship with. The boy that didn't appreciate what he had until it was too late.

After years of disappointment, crying, laughing, good times, bad times, jealousy, frustration and lies I ended our relationship in September of 2006. The cessation of communication set in soon after; it wasn't an amicable break up. He wanted to continue with this toxic relationship, but I was done.

After approximately six months he reached out to me in the hopes of forming a cordial relationship with me. He didn't get it. He thought I just needed time apart from him and that I would want to get back with him. No. This time my no meant no. I realized then and there that a friendship was not in our near future and I was okay with that. He didn't get it.

He called me from a variety of different numbers for months. The moment I'd hear his voice I'd immediately hang up. There was no point in speaking to him. His words were not conducive to my well-being, but detrimental. I had to get him out of my system. Eventually, after I was able to forget about him. You know the old saying "out of sight, out of mind"? Well it worked for me when I was getting over him.

What did he want? Did he expect me to bend over backwards and rejoice "Thank you Lord for sending Kyle back into my life!!!" "What do you want Kyle?", I asked. He proceeded to tell me that it was a new year and that he wanted us to be civil towards one another. "Whatever", is what I thought to myself. The ship named "Civility" has sailed away a long, LONG time ago. I remained silent. He then invited me to his birthday party. Wtf would make him think that I'd want to go after the way that we ended our relationship? To avoid an unnecessary argument while at work I kindly declined and told him to enjoy himself. I meant it. No use in putting energy into wishing the worse for him.

I hung up the phone and a wave of emotions went through my body. The fluttering of my heart stopped and my breathing pattern was restored to normal..... Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Tick tock tick tock tick tock..... The clock is ticking again. Out of sight our of mind. I'll be alright.