Inside The Mind of a Man - Take Three

Hello and welcome to the third installment of "Inside The Mind of a Man". The questions in this questionnaire were a collaborative effort. Several females wanted to know what's going on in the minds of men, so I made it my business to ask around. Feel free to share and comment.

# 1 - What makes you want to toss a woman's salad? (Please note, tossing salad is the licking of an individual's anus)

"I know what tossin' salad is, and I do it because it drives women wild." - K

"Just being a damn freak - it's taboo and what you're "not supposed to have" you will always want." - MJ

"Umm. Nothing makes me want to do that! Lol" - M

"I've come close to licking a**, but not by definition of tossing salad." - S

"Because I'm a freak. If she's clean and a I got love for her, it's going down."
- J

"It's because she asked and it better be my steady girl or wife. Don't need no ones a** on my mouth." - G


# 2 - How do you feel about allowing a woman to toss your salad?
"It ain't happenin'." - K

"Uhh - Negative - No - Not - Don't even think about touching it! That little vein under the ball sack is cool, but NOT THE BUTT HOLE!!!! P.S. If your man likes that you might want to take a closer look at him, lol."
- MJ

"Some men are into receiving that and some women are into giving that, but again, I'm not that kind of guy lol. - M

"I've yet to meet a woman who wants to lick my a** much less put their finger in it. I'm not fixin' to allow it either." - S

"I feel great about it." - J

"Not my cup of tea... Just kills it for me." - G

# 3 - What's with the fascination of anal sex?

"The doorway of the anus is very very tight." - K

"Again, it's where you're not supposed to be. Some feel it puts the man in a position of total domination. It's not that big of a deal for me and not something I necessarily need or want, but if I was asked to perform in that manner by my girl I would be more than happy to oblige." - MJ

"Besides the tight cavity, its a power thing. Once you get your woman to complete every sexual act you desire there's a sense of accomplishment. The sexual boundaries are pretty much removed at that point." - M

"The fascination about anal sex is predicated on trying something new in anticipation that the female will like it." - S

"I guess it's that a woman is letting you do any and everything to her that makes it so fascinating. Not to mention the grip of the anus." - J

"Don't know it's always the women that want to try it, from my experiences." - G

# 4 - Would you allow a woman to penetrate your anus with her finger or a sex toy for pleasure? Men please note, there are a plethora of nerve endings in your anus. Euphoria is only a finger or sex toy away! LOL - This question was inspired by "Whisper" - Thanks!!!!

"NO!" - K

"HELL TO THE NO . Don't ever try that with me or I will run like hell and lock myself underneath the sink. LOL." - MJ

"Wtf! You're shooting four for four with these anal questions, lol. I do the penetrating, I don't get penetrated! I might get my a** grabbed if we're in missionary, but that's as far as I'm allowing it to go,'plethora of nerve endings or not!'" - M

"I'm out, LMAO!" - S

"I may allow the finger, but I don't know if it can penetrate. If she's tossin' my salad and rubs her finger on my a**, I'm ok with that. No toys though!!!" - J

"No. Let me make it a bit clearer, HELL'S NO!! Stay away! EXIT ONLY. Wait one more time, NO." - G

#5 - Lingerie (I'm talking lacy underwear, garter belts, fancy bras or camisoles) or a wifebeater and boy shorts?

"Wifebeater and boy shorts. I'm simple." - K

"ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!!! Don't forget thigh high fish nets!" - MJ

"Lingerie. I love a woman in thigh high, but nothing is better than a woman who comes prepared to play. :)" - M

" Lingerie, lace, bustier, whatever! It all comes down to who is wearing it. In other words, attitude, baby! The clothes at some point will have to come off."
- S

"Either one. I guess it depends on the occasion." - J

"Oh yeah, Wife beater and boy shorts all the way." - G

#6 - In your opinion what is the criterion to maintain a healthy long distance relationship? (Please note, when I say "healthy" I mean a relationship in which neither party cheats on each other)

"Complete honesty." - K

"Oh how sweet - thinking of me are you? As long as both parties remain interested distance shouldn't matter - absence makes the heart grow fonder." - MJ

"Before a long distance relationship is attempted there should be some type of strong emotion or affection being shared between the two people. Then both parties should have an occupation or a hobby etc. that would occupy them. This would eliminate the spare time spent wondering what or whom the other person is doing. Remember 'Idle hands are the devil's workshop.'" - M

"As for as the long distance relationship is concerned, if there's no respect then the relationship ain't worth sh*t. I was a monk for the five year duration of my long distance relationship." - S

"I don't believe it can happen." - J

"Sorry there is No such thing." - G

#7 - Does a big a** really make sex that more enjoyable?

"Yes." - K

"A**? Nope, it's just a visual thing. Bigger doesn't necessarily mean better."
- MJ

"Its black, its sexy, more cushion for the pushing which makes it feel great! In the 80's it was tits and since the 90's it's been a**, lol. However, its not a necessity. Sometimes a pretty face will take a woman further." - M

"Big a**, little a**, don't matter. Actions, not body parts make things happen. A guy can have a big dick and can't f**k. A woman can have a big a** and can't f**k or be lazy." - S

"Sure does. We want something to grab on to, and something to bounce when we hit it from the back." - J

"Well it's all relative, what is a big a**? There is big a** and there is 'WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?' But not really, because if it's too big at some point it's going to look sloppy." - G

#8 - She farts! How do you react? Does it make her view her less of a woman? As quirky and as crazy as this sounds us woman are deathly afraid to do something so natural such as pass gas. What's your take on this?

"Depends, I don't mind farting though, it happens; Just as long as it ain't on a regular basis." - K

"I personally know that women are just like men but they are supposed to be sugar and spice and everything nice - please leave the farting and shitting to the men. If you have to do it make sure when you fart we are in a playful mood and I might laugh it off - otherwise I don't even want to know that you can fart or shit...try to keep it a secret." - MJ

"If this occurs this either means she is rude as hell or she feels VERY comfortable around me,lol." - M

"A woman farting, it's all good. No need to get worked up over it, it's natural."
-S

"I'll just f**k with her and tell her she's nasty, but we would have to be in a relationship. It's natural, but if it's a random chick, she really is nasty. She could go somewhere like the bathroom." - J

"I will be the first one to call her out on it, make a joke of it. What's the big deal. Just don't go toxic on me." - G

#9 - You're dating a female that you want to date exclusively. Does it really matter how many partners she's had? What if the number exceeds 10 do you view her as too loose or just a female in touch with her sexuality?

"The amount of partners matter depending on the situation she f**ked them in." - K

"Doesn't mean that she is loose but she should never disclose an exact number to her dude - especially if she really digs him...what we don't know won't hurt us."
- MJ

"This question sounds familiar, lol! At this stage in life it really doesn't matter. Truthfully I don't wanna know the number. No man wants to know, because he can't handle it. As long as she hasn't slept with a neighborhood or was a prostitute then I'm fine with that. I'm not dealing with 20 year olds, so I can't be so choosy......anymore. Lol" - M

"As much as we want to know about our partners history it's best not to know because we are going to be obsessed with the number. Also we may not be told the truth." - S

"None of that matters. I think every woman is loose at one point of their life. There comes a time where she wants to stop all that." - J

"Damn that's a hard one. It depends on how you're feeling about her and I would say time frame. Were they boyfriends or random guys." - G

What Kind of F**kery Is This?

Society has come a long way with regards to what was viewed as taboo a few short years ago. It is now common to see commercials (as well as infomercials) for lubricants (For sexual intercourse), feminine hygiene products, male enhancement & performance products, STD's/STI's, and condoms, yet we still can't seem to come to grips with the infamous double standard: That it's more socially acceptable for men to be promiscous than women.

Society says it's okay for men to go around and screw everything with a vagina and get categorized as "The ladies man". "The cassanova". "That" nooka". "A playa". "A stud". Yet, when a woman opts to go around and screw everything with a penis she's "a whore". "A skank". "A slut". "A skeez". "A jump off".

Some would argue that it should be a woman's preogative to do with her body what she wants. Those same people might attribute a woman's promiscuity to her being a sexual being that finds pleasure in satisfying her sexual appetite.

This is such a loaded issue. As long as you protect yourself, are very selective and can handle the emotions that go along with having men in and out of your bed (and body) live your life.

Comments?

Sparks

Here I am again, but how did I get here? I hadn't seen him since Thanksgiving weekend. As usual the time spend was enjoyable, so enjoyable that I decided to lay it all on the line - I told him how I felt. No holds barred. I expressed my interest in pursuing a real relationship with him, but he didn't sound like he was on board. He had said everything but yes. "I'm into my work right now", "I need whoever I'm with to understand that I will constantly make moves at the drop of a dime" and other BS.

It hit me and it hurt, reality that is. I realized then and there our "thing" wasn't leading anywhere. After another conversation I decided to stop speaking to him. I didn't want to chase someone that couldn't be caught.

I erased him from my phone. I stopped e-mailing him. He stopped e-mailing me. We didn't speak for two months.

Last Wednesday morning my phone rang. It read "Metro at Hm". My heart stopped. I smiled with glee all because he called. I let the phone ring three times because I wasn't sure if I wanted to speak to him or not. Before I knew it we were engaged in a conversation.

The customary formalities were exchanged and we then caught up. Things were right back to where they were. We agreed to meet up in Manhattan for the whole "touristy" thing, but due to the frigid weather he came over instead. When I opened the door his beaming smile warmed me up. Just like that, the feelings were back. What does this guy have on me?

We enjoyed a lazy afternoon. Talked, cuddled and napped. Nothing more nothing less and I was okay with that. The visit was short and sweet and we made plans to meet up again this week. Which brings me to this entry.

I just returned from his place. The sparks are gone. All the energy I put into making things work before drained me. I have no faith in him anymore. I felt like the "Monday" girl. Who knows who will be occupying his apartment tonight.

The truth hurts, especially when you realize the truth is the person you like so much is not the one for you.

Pardon me while I get my extinguisher.

Now What?

On January 20th, 2009 I was deported from the country I was a citizen of for about the last three years of my life: The United States of Corporate America. I was laid off from my job. Job security, what a joke! I'm newly unemployed and am not sure what I am going to do with myself. Now what?

So many people tell me to view this as a blessing in disguise, but I'm not sure what to do with this new blessing. It wasn't optional, I was thrown out into the cold without any sustenance or proper clothing. Now it's up to me to either stay out here in the cold and succumb to the figurative hypothermia and starvation or to hustle my way to warmth and sustenance.

Take a chance, pursue my love of writing and make it work or go back to Corporate America for a steady means of income. What's a girl to do?

A few months ago I wrote about relinquishing the "safety net" (see, http://theinquisitive1.blogspot.com/2008/07/reliquishing-safety-net.html) and specifically said "I have to be certain that my rent, amongst other bills are paid on a monthly basis. In essence I am a slave to those bills. I am too fearful to let go of a sure thing: this job and the bi-weekly paycheck. Thing is, if I were ever fired (knock on wood), I'd pull myself together and get by some how. I'm a hustler, always have been. I can get by.... So what am I waiting for?" - What am I waiting for?!?!?!?!?!!?

Opinions people. Might I add that knocking on wood didn't save my tail from getting the ax - Ha!

Interracial Dating: Is it All It's Cracked Up To Be?

I've been a resident in Singledom, NY for the past three years or so and am ready to move! I want a change of scenery, a brighter new town if you will. A place where cream in coffee and marshmallows in hot cocoa (puns intended) is always in abundance.

What am I alluding to? The men known for treating us (meaning 'sistas') like Queens. The men synonymous with small packages, the men that lack rhythm. White men. Perhaps I was a bit too stereotypical when I commented on the size of their endowment and their ability to dance, but for the most part White men, small packages & lack of rhythm go hand and hand.

With the new year among us why not try something different, right? This is the year of change for me. I took the fake hair out my hair so that I can be au naturale, I was recently laid off and I'm out there in the job market competing with so many other qualified people. It's time that I take advantage of my single status and try something new.

A near and dear friend of mine, "CeCe" swears by White men. She's dealt with her fair share of Black men, but has since transitioned over to Vanillaville and is very content in this town. From her perspective romance is better, sex is better (her White boyfriend was one the most well endowed men she's was ever intimate with. Not only did he have a big package, but he knew how to use it). Cece went on to rave about him being the best guys she's ever dated. She's been trying to coax me towards "the light" for quite some time now, but I was always so apprehensive.




After viewing movies such as Guess Who (starring Ashton Kutcher and Zoe Saldana), Something New(starring Sanaa Lathan and David Monahan) the idea of interracial dating doesn't seem too far fetched.

I recently decided to embrace my adventurous side and proposed something fun to my girlfriends: "Maria", "Cassie", "Taylor", "Morgan", and "Dana"; I proposed we try speed dating. I assume that most of the men in attendance will be of the Caucasian race and I'm okay with that. This will be a carefree way to have a White man approach me and vice versa. At this juncture I'm looking for fun and romance in a place that I've yet to journey.

I'm curious to know how I'll handle cultural differences, being intimate with a White man, and something so simple as kissing a White man. It just may be too much for me to deal with, but I will never know until I try right? I am determined to find out if this is a myth or a fact; Whether love truly is better with men of the Caucasian Race.

I'll keep you posted!